My mother had me when she was 15 years old. My father was 6 years older than her and it was a one night drunken thing. To say the least he was not in my life. She raised me, and raised me well pretty much alone.
I am now 20 years old and moved out on my own at the age of 18. Since I moved out my mom has gone on a huge downward self destructing spiral. She could not afford the apartment she was
living in so she left it, getting herself an eviction. She had to file for bankruptcy and hardly ever went to work so she was always broke. After a year of being out of the house I decided to move her in with me and my boy friend. She had 2 evictions on her record and was filing bankruptcy and could not get a place of her own, so I thought I would help her out. Our time spent living together was horrible, she can be a very unstable person. She has symptoms of bipolarism and gets real angry and mean real easy. To say the least I did not want to renew a lease with her. So I found a new apartment and she was suppose to rent a room from someone. And then she got a DUI. She was facing high fines and jail time. She was crying to me desperately sad and had mentioned suicide to me a few time (which was actually something she had been doing for a year or so at that point). I let her stay with me for a few months at the new place, which long story short ended messier than ever and involved her pulling a knife on me, punching my boy friend in his face and having to have the cops called.
We didn’t talk for months, I had gotten a restraining order against her but dropped it cause I felt horrible for it. Now we talk a bit, but every time that day gets brought up she puts blame on other people. Also, I find it so hard to be around her after all she has done to me mentally and emotionally. And she just keeps self destructing. She goes out with guys way younger than her and gets herself hurt and stranded a lot. Her problems cause me a lot of stress, but I know she’s dealing with a lot so I try to be there for her. Its just gotten to the point where I have pushed her away almost completely. I don’t want to hang out with her or visit her and I can’t stand talking to her really.
What are your thoughts on my situation? I could go into detail about all the things she has done to me including threatening to kill me, threatening my job and my home and my relationship and plenty more to validate why I just can’t stand her and she causes me so much stress. I guess my main question is at what point is it too much and you have to cut a detrimental person out of your life even if their your mom? How much are you suppose to be their for someone during hard times?
You know what? It sounds like you and your mom have had a really rough run. The long and short of it is this, in my opinion... [ When it gets to the point that the relationship is detrimental to your health and well being (and physical threats definitely constitute this) then it's time to either sever ties or go to counseling together. She may or may not cooperate or agree to it, but you have
done what you can, it's time to look out for yourself. ]
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