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Q: I am having problems with my 11 yr old daughter. she is lazy and wont do chores. I am so tired of talking to her all the time about the same things. What should I do?
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User: I am having problems with my 11 yr old daughter. she is lazy and wont do chores. I am so tired of talking to her all the time about the same things. What should I do?

Weegy: You are a good parent. She just need to realize that this is a necessary step that she must learn. Tell her you won't be buying her stuff if she doesn't do them.



User: I did that already, I have took away all of her things, put her on punishment, stopped buying her things. I just don't know what else to do

Weegy: Ahah! I don't know if this will work but you could try making her feel guilty. If she has some siblings, spend more time with them. Make her see your doing a lot of them and you were just asking her to do a little bit. [ Make her brothers and sisters help and talk more to them. Then, reward them. ]
Expert answered|changela|Points 82|

Question
Asked 6/16/2012 6:02:33 PM
Updated 6/8/2014 7:58:42 AM
4 Answers/Comments
This conversation has been flagged as incorrect.
Flagged by Frankie17851
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Have you tried giving her siblings allowances for doing her chores? For every one of her chores that she won't do, pay one of her siblings to do it. Then take them somewhere special, all of them, and tell them they have to use the money they earned. Since she is 11, Take them to an arcade,to the movies or to Chuck E. Cheese's. She will have to sit on the sidelines and watch the other kids have fun without her. Do this weekly or bi weekly. She will eventually want to do her chores to make the money. As she gets older, she will become more and more dependent on her allowances. Once that happens, if she ever stops doing her chores again, you can put her on probation. If she stops doing her chores for "2" weeks, she will have to work for free for two weeks before you can start getting paid again. It will keep her from just cleaning for the money.
Added 6/26/2012 1:28:03 PM
This answer has been confirmed as correct and helpful.
Confirmed by Kaysha [1/9/2014 11:17:26 AM], Rated good by Kaysha
0
You can try to talk to her again about it and make her understand that you are doing this for her and not simply because you want her to clean the house.As parent you must set a rules that should be strictly followed by your children . This will make them realize that life is not a bed of roses , that as an individual they must act accordingly and be responsible.If this doesn't work you can do reverse psychology.With this ,you have to stop asking her to clean the house or do the chores.Let the house be messy and then tell her, "Hey, don't clean the house ,Ok? I think your friend will surely admire you when they found out that our house is messy and you are not doing anything considering that your mom is busy."This technique can be effective because she will start thinking that she might be hated by her friend knowing that she is not a productive daughter at home. But of course try to talk according to her age . Don't force her and make her fully understand why you want her to be responsible.
Added 6/8/2014 7:58:42 AM
Comments
@changela-ostracizing a child is consider emotional abuse, no matter how well intentioned. All children deserve attention from their parent and not as a reward for being good.
Added 7/2/2012 8:52:16 AM
Please consider this from the child's point of view. We were all 11 once, right? Times have changed, and although this is no excuse for her to not obey her parents, the environmental influences around her are very different from your time- - the internet a good example of this. I myself was a lazy 11 year old, but ostracizing her as "changela" suggested is indeed a form of emotional abuse, as stated by "Frankie17851. You have no idea how that will affect her in the future, and this is crucial seeing that she is quickly approaching her teenage years. I suffer from this currently. My advice would be to discipline her by taking away her phone, ipod, laptop, etc. But do NOT lash out all at once. She will not take you seriously at all, and instead of accepting her punishment, she will lash out at YOU until you give in. You mean well, but if you came to a website to ask for parenting advice, something needs to change. For one, if you are not a woman/man of your word, become one. She will NEVER take you seriously if you don't keep your word. If you say you are going to punish her, follow through. If she believes you will punish her when you say so, she'll believe when you say you're going to reward her as well. And children LOVE rewards. She needs to learn how to earn what she has, and respect her parents. I do not condone physical abuse, but as the saying goes, "spare the rod and spoil the child". I truly hope this helps. From a child's point of view. :)
Added 1/5/2014 8:33:04 PM
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